“Are You Here to Take Notes?”: On Being Mistaken for Support Staff
The Moment Almost Every Female Lawyer Knows
You walk into the boardroom. You’re prepared and may even be leading the meeting. And then it happens; someone hands you their coat, asks you to fetch coffee, or turns to your male colleague to ask who’s in charge. You are. You are in charge.
If you’re a woman in law, you may have been mistaken for an assistant, paralegal, court clerk, or “someone’s helper” at least once in your career. Many of us have lost count.
Why It Keeps Happening
This isn’t about individual bad actors, though those exist too. It’s about deeply ingrained assumptions about who holds power and what that person looks like. The legal profession has historically been male dominated, and despite significant progress, the image of “the lawyer in the room” remains stubbornly gendered in many people’s minds. When a woman walks in (especially a younger woman, a woman of colour, or a woman who doesn’t fit a narrow mould of what authority is “supposed” to look like), the assumption defaults to a supporting role.
The frustrating reality is that there is no wardrobe choice, no tone of voice, and no level of seniority that fully insulates you from it. Partners experience it. KCs experience it. Judges have experienced it.
How Women Are Navigating It
Responses vary, and there is no single right answer. Some women correct the assumption directly and without apology: “Actually, I’m the lead counsel on this matter.” Others have developed a dry, practiced response that resets the room without making it a bigger moment than it needs to be. Some choose to let it go and let their performance in the room do the correcting. All of these are valid.
What matters is that you don’t internalize it as a reflection of your competence or your right to be there. It isn’t. It is a reflection of the assumption, and the assumption is wrong.
What Firms and Institutions Can Do
This isn’t only a problem for individual women to manage. Firms can take meaningful steps, such as ensuring women are visibly introduced in their correct roles at the outset of meetings, addressing the behaviour when male colleagues witness it, and examining whether internal cultures inadvertently reinforce these dynamics. Allyship in the room, such as having a colleague who steps in and says, “Let me introduce you to our lead on this file,” makes a real difference.
The conversation is shifting. But until the assumption disappears entirely, it helps to know you are not alone in the experience, and that the problem has never been you.
About the Author
Rebecca Dales is an associate at Harper Grey practicing business and real estate law. Rebecca regularly assists clients with a wide range of real estate, business, and lending matters, including mergers and acquisitions, corporate governance, and real estate transactions involving development, purchasing, selling, and leasing. Rebecca also has extensive experience working with land-based casino and online gambling operators and gaming related suppliers, on licensing and compliance matters.