Celebrating Success: You Deserve It
I recently completed a course for which I am extremely proud. I wanted to share about my accomplishment, but oddly I found myself feeling guilty for it. Should I really share about my achievement? Did I “deserve” to talk about it? Is it really a big deal, which deserves sharing with others?
After some contemplation I came to the realization that we, as women, tend to shy away from sharing our accomplishments. This is a problem.
Second guessing ourselves is engrained
As women, we often second-guess ourselves. For example, I used to constantly seek the validation or advice of those around me, even for the smallest issues. Perhaps this is engrained from a young age, when females are taught to be submissive, to obey rules, to be polite, and to be quiet.
In turn, it seems we are (over time) wired to need external nods of approval for decisions we make. And we often know, deep down, what we believe is the right decision (read: intuition). So why do we need to have someone else tell us what to do?
We do not need external validation
There is nothing wrong with seeking out advice from those we trust, or from mentors who have invaluable experience from which we can learn. But there is a difference between hearing advice, taking away key points, and adapting it to work for you as opposed to requiring advice to ultimately make a decision.
The truth of the matter is, we do not need advice to make a choice. If we look back at our lives and everything we’ve accomplished to get to where we are, it is clear that we, as women, are competent, thoughtful and independent (which Black’s Law dictionary defines as “not subject to the control or influence of another”).
Take pride in your success
We should never feel guilty for working hard and achieving milestones and goals. Period.
And we should not feel ashamed about sharing our success story, if we choose to do so. Our supporters will champion our successes. Those who truly want to see us reach for the stars will be there for us whether we achieve our goals, or fall short, which inevitably happens from time to time.
At the end of the day, whether we choose to share a success story or not, it is the right choice. Whatever we decide to do (or not do) is the correct choice for us, regardless of what anyone else may think or say. Others may not agree. Others may disapprove. Others may criticize. And that’s okay. Because we as women need to trust ourselves to advocate for ourselves, and to take conduct of our own lives.
About the Author
Leyla Salmi is an associate at Harper Grey and practices with the firm’s Construction and Engineering Law Group. Leyla takes pride in giving back to the profession and her community. She currently acts as a Beedie Luminaries Mentor, providing mentorship to students as they complete their post-secondary education.